Dancing With The Stars Quotes, Quotations and Quizzes

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2010-06-04T15:42:00.005+01:00

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Dancing With The Quotes - Vol One

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ISBN: 978-1-907338-03-8

DANCING WITH THE "QUOTES"

VOLUME ONE
1000 Humorous TV Dance Quotations

A Comical Collection of Humorous Quotations on TV Dance Shows …

from DANCING WITH THE STARS to SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

"Dancing With The Stars ... a contest that is as much about redemption as it is about the Rumba."

Alessandra Stanley in The New York Times (2007)

"Doing a show like Dancing With The Stars is pretty much the most famous you can get as a dancer unless you're Baryshnikov or something."

Julianne Hough (2008)

"DWTS is a shimmery, glittery, fraught-with-injuries 10-week competition between dance pairs - one pro and one celebrity - joined in a televised matrimony of sorts."

April MacIntyre on MonstersAndCritics.com (2009)

BOOK DETAILS

Pages: 140
Cover: Paperback
Size: 6" x 9"

ISBN: 978-1-907338-03-8

TO ORDER
Click on the link below to order DANCING WITH THE QUOTES in your region ...

USA ... $4.00 off on Amazon.com - Now only $10.99
UK ... CANADA ... FRANCE ... GERMANY ... JAPAN

INTRODUCTION TO DANCING WITH THE QUOTES

As the title suggests, this fun-packed book focuses on the first nine seasons of Dancing With The Stars. Inspired by the hit US TV show, this book delivers enough comical content to fill the most discerning judge's dance card.

On Clyde Drexler's Rumba - "Oh my God. Clyde, I know you’re a gentleman … But this was so polite - it was like a Rumba under an anesthetic."

Bruno Tonioli on DWTS (2007)

It reveals an amusing aspect of the show through the words of celebrity and professional dancers, judges, hosts, fans and the media.

"I didn't know there would be this much dancing!"

Penn Jillette on DWTS (2008)

By is very nature of focusing on TV dance shows in the 20th century, the majority of the quotations contained in this book come from the last ten years. This ultra-contemporary content, in terms of dance history, makes this book as fresh and as vibrant as the latest street dance craze.

As well DWTS, this book also features quotations about other U.S. dance shows from American Bandstand to So You Think You Can Dance ...

"The Pony, the Jitterbug, the Twist, the Chalypso (a Cha-Cha, Calypso combination) - they danced them all at Bandstand. They even - gasp! - slow-danced."

The Hollywood Reporter (2002)

"The super-progressive SYTYCD makes DWTS look like a trip to the retirement home."

Kyle Anderson on MTV.com (2009)

Just as the DWTS mantle has covered the globe like a peripatetic Paso cape, this book matches the international reach of dance on TV. DANCING WITH THE QUOTES also includes content from TV series around the world. These include DWTS' quick-step-mother - Strictly Come Dancing from the U.K. and DWTS spin-offs from Australia and New Zealand.

On Ian Meldrum's Cha-Cha-Cha - "Not many Cha-Chas died in the making of that Cha-Cha routine."

Todd McKenney on DWTS AUS (2006)

Although these international names may not be as familiar to U.S. readers as their 'homegrown' stars; like dance itself - the humor of the quotes and quips transcends all borders.

"That's pro-celebrity Ballroom for you. It damn near strips a man naked, bar the sequins."

Giles Smith in The London Times (2006)

As such, DANCING WITH THE QUOTES celebrates in frivolous fashion the global glitterball of glamour, glitz and garish gaucheness that has always pervaded the TV dance world.

"Welcome to the world of teeth and tans. We certainly embrace the retro camp quality. Where else can you Vienna Waltz to a Sonny and Cher song?"

Tom Bergeron on DWTS (2005)

The diverse and sometimes obscure content entertainingly covers everything from the Len GOODman, the LamBADa and the JitterbUGLY.

On Bill Ray Cyrus' Waltz - "The trouble was there was only one recognizable step: the Shadow Botafogos ... and that's a Samba step!"

Len Goodman on DWTS (2007)

On Mya and Dmitry Chaplin's Lambada - "Though last week's rumba was a little busy for my taste, their lambada was just right: hot and spicy with a side of raunch dressing."

Allyssa Lee in The Los Angeles Times (2009)

On Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson's railroad-inspired Jitterbug - "A little like looking at a steam train trying to keep up with a speeding bullet train."

Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars (2009)

TO ORDER
Click on the link below to buy DANCING WITH THE QUOTES [ISBN: 9781907338038] in your region ...
USA ... UK ... CANADA ... FRANCE ... GERMANY ... JAPAN

Please note:
For a more historical yet equally hysterical overview of dance on film and stage look for our sister publication The Quotable Dancer.

DANCING WITH THE QUOTES focuses on the D.W.T.S. shows as well as other TV dance shows.

A dedicated UK version - STRICTLY QUOTE DANCING - is available for fans of the UK dance show - Strictly Come Dancing.
Further details of this and all our dance books go to the main www.BlueEyedBooks.co.uk website

To contact Blue Eyed Books with any questions about these books, please click here to send an email
.

Nicole Scherzinger: DWTS Champ is "Dancing With The Quotes"

2010-05-30T16:41:00.004+01:00

Nicole Scherzinger: DWTS Champ is "Dancing With The Quotes"

Now that the fake tan dust has settled on the dance floor after Nicole Scherzinger and her professional partner Derek Hough's lifted the coveted mirrorball trophy on Dancing With The Stars, here are a few choice quotes by and about Ms. Scherzinger (rhymes with 'ringer') after her triumph ...

All quotes by Nicole unless otherwise noted

“I'm just so flippin' happy right now!”

"This has been probably the greatest reward personally, this whole personal journey. I've learned so much about myself."

"The experience has made me a stronger person, I've learned I can't control everything. I've learned to let go. It's been enlightening."

"Anyone who thinks this comes naturally to me should come into rehearsals. It's not easy."

"I don’t think I’m gonna return to the ballroom. I’m gonna return to the music. I did enough ballroom for a hot second. Derek can hold it down in my music videos with his ballroom, but right now I gotta go back to the music."

On the mirrorball trophy -

"I feel like I just won a Grammy ... A dancing Grammy!"

'It’s not about the trophy. It’s beyond the trophy. The experience and the challenge and everything you go through - it’s a lot of life-changing experiences in three months and it’s just so intense.'

"I'm going to give it to my mom because she's the reason I really did this show ... This is for her."

On her professional partner Derek Hough -

"Luckily I have a bomb-diggity partner and fortunately he never takes a day off and he's great to work with me!"

'This is new territory for me. I am in Derek Hough Dancing With The Stars ballroom land. It's good that I kind of don't know what I'm doing.'

"I've learned so much about Derek Hough - he's made me a better person through this."

On her tactics for the final -

"It's not good being a perfectionist. I decided to let it all hang out"

On their tango -

"After the tango, Derek and I started crying backstage ... it felt so good, and we knew we were going to be OK."

On their freestyle routine in the Final -

"Oh lord, seeing Derek and Nicole doing Proud Mary was worth suffering through every second of filler. Wow, Len is blown away and practically declares Nicole the winner. This was a fabulous TV moment - seeing these two dance this dance. Viva, Nicole, the judges give them a perfect 30 - and it is a totally righteous score."
David Zuwarik, The Baltimore Sun

On the professional dancer controversy -

"I like to see the growth, Nicole today is who she was when she got here - she was a great dancer and she still is ... There were moments you couldn't tell her from the pro dancers."
Niecy Nash

"This Nicole Pussycat person won. Imagine that? A professional dancer won Dancing With the Stars. This is why I do not watch it anymore."
Gilles Marini

"Nicole was the best dancer from day one. She was obviously on a different level than everyone else, but her choreography was more difficult, too. She absolutely deserved to win."
Edyta Sliwinska

"Winning seemed like a foregone conclusion for 31-year-old Scherzinger, who has had years to become used to stupid costumes and elaborate routines as the leader 'singer' of the Pussycat Dolls."
Kat Angus, Vancouver Sun

"Nicole Scherzinger took home the 10th mirrorball trophy during Dancing With the Stars frenzied, bloated finale. And rightfully so. Yeah, I said it. Scherzy had dance experience. She did it for a living. Often more than singing. To which I say -- SO WHAT. She was on the show. She struggled. She cried. She initially got lost amid bigger, um, personalities Pamela Anderson and Kate Gosselin. But once the excess was excised, Nicole upped the va-va-voom and left the lesser in her wake."
Joey Guerra, Houston Chronicle

"Nicole Scherzinger and her partner, Derek Hough, walked away from the 10th season of Dancing With the Stars with the mirror ball trophy, and for good reason: Nicole was consistently the best dancer. She didn't noticeably learn anything or improve in any way. She was a highly trained dancer when she entered the competition, and she used that training (as well as a boatload of natural talent) to dominate throughout."
Linda Holmes, Today.msnbc.msn.com

"Nicole and Derek were best. Never mind that she had dance experience as a Pussycat Doll. They let her in the competition. She deserved the chance to win, too. Now, if they’d really like to up the ante, they should bring back all of the winners OR all of the second place finishers and give them a second chance. Either way, they’ve got 10 “seasons” under their belts and they’re ready for a best of the best. Even in that arena, Nicole would be a good bet to win. Watch her stuff and you’ll see. She’s remarkable (and Derek isn’t half bad, either)."
Bruce Miller, Sioux City Journal

"Congratulations to Nicole Scherzinger. Winning Dancing With The Stars is bound to be a giant career boost for her – just look what it did to former Dancing With The Stars winners like… um… oh, actually, never mind."
Stuart Heritage, HecklerSpray.com

Photo credits: (AP Photo/ABC/Adam Larkey)

Dancing With The Stars: Real Dancing vs. Reality Dancing?

2010-04-27T17:44:00.000+01:00

DANCING WITH THE STARS: REAL DANCING vs. REALITY DANCING?

XMAS comes but once a year. Luckily for television dance fans, D.W.T.S. comes twice a year. Debuting on our TV screens in the summer of 2005, Dancing With The Stars - in all its glittering, fake-tanned & sequined glory - is now in its tenth season.

Yes! There are already nine seasons of D.W.T.S. in the bag and nine celebrity champions have hoisted that much-maligned mirrorball trophy. But how many of those triumphant, toe-tapping, tush-twirling, amateur terps can you name?

To help you out, the roll of honor is: Monaco, Lachey, Smith, Ohno, Castroneves, Yamaguchi, Burke, Johnson and Osmond. Each a star in their own sphere, but can they really be regarded as true stars of the dance world? Can they really be held in the same light as a Baryshnikov or a Glover [pic right on D.W.T.S.]?

Does Emmitt Smith deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Bill T. Jones? Does Shawn Johnson belong in the same stratosphere as Ted Shawn? Does Donny Osmond measure up to Donald O’Connor? Kelly Monaco or Gene Kelly? … okay, you get my drift.

How highly should we regard champions - or, for that matter, any of the dancers - that have appeared on television dance shows? Whether it be Dancing With The Stars or So You Think You Can Dance or America’s Best Dance Crew the popularity of these shows and their dancers is beyond question. You only have to look at the top four most read blogs on a 'real' dance site such as Dance.com. After a puff piece on dance ‘make up’ look who are next in line of popularity … D.W.T.S., S.Y.T.Y.C.D. and A.B.D.C.

Like the proverbial dancing dog, it is surprising that ‘Dance on TV’ is not only the prevalent trend on Dance.com, but that TV dance trends at all. If this well-regarded, professional dance site generates such an incontrovertible interest in the unreality of reality TV dance shows, how has the rest of the professional dance world reacted to this form of the ‘amateur’ dance hour?

In assessing how the professional dance world views shows such as D.W.T.S. and S.Y.T.Y.C.D. where better to start than in referencing Time magazine’s ‘Dancer of the 20th Century.’ Even though Martha Graham died in 1991, some fourteen years before Dancing With The Stars burst onto our screens, her memory is often revisited to explain the delights or deficiencies of the show.

“Martha Graham was telling the truth in her remark about the simplicity of body language: ‘Movement never lies,’ ” Gia Kourlas wrote in The New York Times. “The success of Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance proves a great deal about the potency of dance.”

Evoking a similar spirit from Martha’s Danceyard, Holly Cara Price offers a different slant on D.W.T.S. for The Huffington Post with another Graham cracker. “Martha said, ‘Dance is the hidden language of the soul.’ Graham would probably not have been a viewer of this show, nor would she have believed any of these contestants to be speaking any kind of hidden language of the soul.”

Although D.W.T.S. pro Louis Van Amstel is a student of the Martha Graham Technique, one supposes that most of the show’s fans are more familiar with former N.B.A. star & D.W.T.S. alumnus Clyde Drexler than Graham’s Clytemnestra.

One real dance critic clearly not enamored with reality TV dancing, is Keith Watson of the London Metro. “I love dance. I do not, however, love So You Think You Can Dance, which forces good dancers to look average because they’re doing stuff they’re no great shakes at.” Watson adds, “Would you ask Carlos Acosta, the greatest ballet dancer of his generation, to have a go at tap dancing or the waltz? He’d probably make a pretty good job of it, but what’s the point?”

Ironically, the point is very simple. Acosta could so easily score a maximum three tens on Dancing With The Stars for a waltz that channels Vernon Castle, Fred Astaire and Arthur Murray. Then Acosta’s name would instantly become known to the general public who quite probably have never heard of him. THAT is the point of dance on TV.

One dance legend who knows Costa only too well is former partner Darcey Bussell. Not only did the longtime prima ballerina of the Royal Ballet dance an unforgettable balletic jive on the U.K.’s Strictly Come Dancing but appeared for a few weeks on the judging panel. Given her background, Bussell is well placed to comment on both sides of the debate.

“People think, when you've been a professional dancer all your life, that you're going to have tried every sort of style, and I kind of felt embarrassed that I'd never ever tried ballroom dancing,” she told The Independent on Sunday last year. “I muck around in nightclubs maybe after a performance, with Carlos Acosta, and I love watching tango, but generally I've never had time to dabble in other styles.”

Bussell’s willingness to stretch her toes and her reputation onto the ballroom dance floor is not matched by fellow Royal Ballet principal, Michael Nunn. The Ballet Boyz co-founder has been extremely vocal about the way reality TV dancing clouds the public’s perception of real dance. Nunn told The Stage, “Most people, if they see dance, will probably see it once a year. And what are they going to go and see? Richard Alston or [Strictly... pro] Lilia Kopylova?”

Nunn’s misgivings over reality dancing are echoed by The New Yorker’s dance reviewer Brian Seibert. Writing on Slate.com, in 2005, he warned, “For a dance critic like me to offer a professional opinion about what happens on Dancing With The Stars could be considered cruel … Dancing With The Stars is not Baryshnikov on P.B.S.”

Seibert’s professional stance is tempered by two-time D.W.T.S. champion Julianne Hough, who also uses Misha as a misshapen means to an end. She says, “Doing Dancing With The Stars is pretty much the most famous you can get as a dancer … unless you’re Baryshnikov or something.” The ‘or something’ being the worst put-down Mikhail has suffered untilThe Mail on Sunday recently denigrated his stellar dance career by referring to him as “Sex & The City star Mikhail Baryshnikov.”

Whatever real dance experts think as they seemingly look down their noses at reality dance on television, the amateur art form does boast at least one useful benefit. “Whenever [S.Y.T.Y.C.D. head judge] Nigel Lythgoe, muses about the influence of Michael Kidd and Bob Fosse in a beautifully choreographed piece, he’s giving a quick lesson in dance history,” wrote Alynda Wheat in Entertainment Weekly. “It’s like Bugs Bunny dropping opera, or mom slipping vegetables into the spaghetti sauce. It’s so sneaky, it works.”

Reality dancing on TV has undoubtedly opened the public’s eyes to the history of dance, introducing them to the almost unforgotten names of dancing greats and legendary choreographers. Although this hub of influence may have taken one clumsy step too many. Nowadays, it is has become all too easy for dance reviewers to compare a real dance project, with real professional dancers, in terms of a reality TV dance show.

Despite being awarded an M.B.E. by The Queen for his services to dance in the U.K, Akram Khan suffered the ultimate artistic affront. His contemporary dance theater piece In-i - a duet with Oscar-winning actress Juliette Binoche - was dismissed by The Scotsman’s Andrea Mullaney, as “Basically a posh Strictly Come Dancing.” Ouch!

And if that was not galling enough for real dance aficionados, Sarah Frater, in The London Evening Standard, had the temerity to write off the American Ballet Theater’s Le Corsaire as, “two and a-half hours of fancy dress and flashy moves - the Strictly Come Dancing of ballet with a comedy plot and a mongrel score.”

Is there a solution to this thorny question of real versus reality dancing that has become as pointed as a ballerina’s toes and as heated as ‘Lil Kim’s showcase salsa on Dancing With The Stars?

Tonya Plank on The Huffington Post sensibly suggests a crossover between real and reality. “Works by choreographers like Twyla Tharp and Jerome Robbins who created ballroom-y ballets - would appeal to the D.W.T.S. crowd.” She goes on to list a wide variety of dance companies and projects that would fit the primetime TV bill, “I'm sure audiences would savor seeing some of the current greats (for example, Marcelo Gomes and Misty Copeland - the ballerina of the future) perform Tharp's Sinatra Suite or portions of Deuce Coupe or Robbins's Other Dances or Alvin Ailey's jazzy Pas de Duke. Or Mimulus, a sweet Brazilian troupe who combine social Latin with modern. Or Keigwin and Company with their uniquely witty humor.”

Tonya neatly sums up the need for TV dance shows to use their precious air time to focus more on dance and less on non-performance filler, “There are a ridiculous number of excellent companies and dancers and choreographers this audience would be into; the list is endless. Dancing With The Stars is a show celebrating dance, after all, not idle chatter.”

Idle chatter or not, whatever your views on the boom in dancing on television, as long as the public are talking about dance rather than any of the other performing arts that can only be good for dance as a whole. As Bruce Forsyth, the 82-year-old host of Strictly…, likes to remind viewers at the end of every show, “Keep Dancing!”

COLIN M JARMAN

For more quotations about dancing, take a look at The Quotable Dancer or Dancing With the Quotes.

Photo details: Savion Glover on Dancing With the Stars Season 5
Copyright Richard Cartwright/ABC

$5 OFF "Dancing With The Stars" Book

2010-04-26T20:46:00.003+01:00

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Dancing With The Quotes

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“DANCING WITH THE STARS” 50 of the BEST ‘DWTS’ WEEK ONE QUOTES

2010-04-26T14:01:00.000+01:00

“DANCING WITH THE STARS”
50 of the BEST ‘DWTS’ WEEK ONE QUOTES

[Right click on the links below to be taken to the full article]

“It's that time of year again, when washed-up Baywatch stars and astronauts take to the dance floor to mambo with professional tanning bed testers in body glitter (who also happen to be very good at step-ball-achangin'). It's time for Dancing With the Stars!”
Cristina Kinon on NYDailyNews.com

“It's amazing what people will go through for a poorly made discoball trophy.”
Peter Gicas on EOnline.com

“It's tough to win on Dancing With The Stars; first of all, just to get on the show you have to be at least a minor celebrity. And even if we harbor D-List hopes, not too many of us are serious about dancing: the odds an adult will take a dance class other than ballet in a year are 1 in 142.9.”
Jon Sobel on BookOfOdds.com

On the Week One pre-show nerves - “There was so much anxiety in the room tonight with everybody stretching, everybody trying to remember their routines. I know what it’s like and I wanted to just throw out the index cards and give everybody a big hug.”
Brooke Burke

“Between Jake's awkwardness, Kate Gosselin; whose facial expressions look like she may have soiled her pantyhose, and versions of songs that are worse than some Karaoke versions, Dancing With The Stars has a new avid viewer!”
Rayanne Mulier on Examiner.com

CELEBRITIES

AIDEN TURNER
Edyta in training - “I feel like your mum teaching you how to walk.”
Aiden: “Well, I don’t think of you as my mum, at all.”
on Dancing With The Stars

To his fellow Englishman after a fairly sedate but sexy Cha-Cha-Cha - “You standing there just shaking your wobbly bits while Edyta’s dances about.”
Len Goodman on Dancing With The Stars

BUZZ ALDRIN
“You did a cha-cha-cha but it looked like you still had your moon boots on.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

“He is robotic at first, but gets his groove going eventually, if glacially. He is 80, after all. He does some kicks here and there, but spends most of the dance with at least one arm on his hip. Does that count as hip action?”
Joyce Eng on TVGuide.com

“Buzz Aldrin was so goofily endearing that no one seemed to mind his 14 out of 30 score - or the fact that most of his routine consisted of him just standing while his partner, Ashly Costa, orbited him.”
Megan Angelo in The Wall Street Journal

“Buzz Aldrin was simultaneously great and terrible - great as an 80-year-old American hero and terrible as a competing dancer. If the producers want to cast older celebrities, then they should take a page from the PGA's playbook and start a Seniors Tour.”
Tom Maurstad in The Dallas Morning News

CHAD OCHOCINCO
On his Cha-Cha-Cha - “You came out like a tiger … but you are a rough diamond at the moment, you need some polish.”
Len Goodman on Dancing With The Stars

Early Sunday morning tweets to his pro partner -
“Cheryl wake up and lets go rehearse, i had like 8 red bulls n cranberry juices and i want to fox trot right now damit!!”

“Can you hear, i want to dance right now lady get up, think mirror ball trophy.”
Chad Ochocinco on Twitter

ERIN ANDREWS
“Her cha-cha-cha has a fun party vibe to it and her footwork is pretty good, but why, oh why did she borrow something from Big Bird?”
Sammi-T on TVGrapevine.com

On her Cha-Cha-Cha - “She's working the hip action to Ke$ha'sTikTok. She's definitely got the ‘I smell something funky but I'm sexy’ look down. You know the one.”
Cristina Kinon on NYDailyNews.com

EVAN LYSACEK
On his Viennese Waltz - “You’ve got the wingspan of a 747 but you move with the grace of a swan.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

On his designer-labeled dance costumes - “We are working so hard on the technique, the dancing should speak for itself. Packaging is important, of course, but we definitely don’t want to subtract attention from the dance.”
Evan Lysacek in The Los Angeles Times

JAKE PAVELKA
On being too rough in the normally demure Viennese Waltz - “What you going to do in the rumba … Eat her?”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

“Keep your legs together. You look like you're on a horse.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

On his pre-training routine - “Chelsie has been stretching the snot out of me to prevent injuries. It hurts bad. We do 45 minutes every single morning. She just walks over and turns me into a pretzel until I cry.”
Jake Pavelka on TVGuide.com

KATE GOSSELIN
On her Viennese Waltz - “It looked like Tony was pushing a shopping cart around the floor … You have to exude something!”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

“Judge Len Goodman quickly shows that he is still as grouchy, crotchety, and cantankerous as ever. He hammered Shannon Doherty so hard with his remarks that he reduced TV's 'Bad Girl' to tears. He told astronaut Buzz Aldrin that he has a pet schnauzer that can dance better than him, and he told Kate Gosselin that if she could dance half as good as she can pop out kids she could be the next Ginger Rogers.”
Abel Rodriguez on The Spoof.com

NICOLE SCHERZINGER
On the difference between burlesque and ballroom dance - “It's a whole ‘nother world … it’s a far cry from chest pumps and booty dips.”
Nicole Scherzinger on Dancing With The Stars

On her Viennese Waltz - “Scherzinger - who’s better known for perfecting the sort of moves that get banned at middle school dances - was the picture of grace (or, as judge Bruno put it, ‘startling finesse!’)”
Megan Angelo in The Wall Street Journal

NIECY NASH
On her Cha-Cha-Cha - “This is like watching two personalities ... at times the saucy woman and at times the born-again virgin.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

On her Cha-Cha-Cha - “Jiggly parts and all, Niecy and Louis' performance was 100 Percent Pure Cheese and damn, we needed some campy fun after the stilted rose-petaled uggggghhhh of Bachelor Jake.”
Annie Barrett on EW.com

On the other ‘DWTS 10’ celebrities - “They're all family. The crazy thing is Chad's competition, Nicole's competition, everyboy is competition, but I want to see them do well ... Niecy Nash impressed me the most. She was great! I'm a huge fan! Her family is kind of like the Osmonds.”
Jake Pavelka on TVGuide.com

“Celebrate ur jiggly parts!!!!” … “Rock your Thickness today!!”
Niecy Nash on Twitter

PAMELA ANDERSON
“Honestly, with her larger-than-life persona, her literal height, her hair all ratted up like that, her makeup, and the way she carried herself and did her thing to the utmost, she seemed a bit like a drag queen, no? And I don't mean that in a bad way! She was a really hot drag queen!”
Tonya Plank on HuffingtonPost.com

"OMG! Pamela Anderson on DWTS last night! She was better than I thought and fun, but pretty much a sexcapade."
Nancy O’Dell on Twitter

“She's rockin' the "just rolled out of bed look," if you roll out of bed in a hot pink, fringed mini. Her tousled hair has a life of its own. Seriously, it's moving better than she is!”
Joyce Eng on TVGuide.com

“It's a lot of fun. I've never danced in my life! I thought I might as well learn to dance sooner or later. I've done a few pole dances. There are not a lot of steps in pole-dancing, it's a lot of swinging around.”
Pamela Anderson on The Tonight Show

On having trouble adjusting to the much more demure Foxtrot - “Of all the things I’ve done in my life, I’m not going down in the Foxtrot.”
Pamela Anderson on The Tonight Show

“We want to do something different every time. It’s not always going to be sex, drugs, rock and roll and ripping off clothes.”
Pamela Anderson

SHANNEN DOHERTY
On her Viennese Waltz - “It didn't flow … you were swinging your arms around like a primate.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

PRO DANCERS

ASHLY COSTA
On meeting his 27-y-o pro partner for the first time - “When I first met Ashly, I thought this is a really cute babe.”
Buzz Aldrin [80-y-o] on Dancing With The Stars

EDYTA SLIWINSKA
On her heavily-fringed, almost-see-through, almost-there Cha-Cha ‘dress’ - “We are one gust of wind away from an F.C.C. fine.”
Tom Bergeron on Dancing With The Stars

MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY
Maksim on meeting for the first time - “They all ask for me”
Erin: “I didn’t ask for you … I asked for Tony.”
on Dancing With The Stars

On Erin’s frequent interruptions in training - “It's my only pleasure in life - to bitch at people, and you're taking it away from me,”
Maksim Chmerkovskiy on Dancing With The Stars

MARK BALLAS
“I need to get my fill of (ultimate ballroom show-off) Mark Ballas!”
Tonya Plank on HuffingtonPost.com

JUDGES

BRUNO TONIOLI
After Bruno’s ‘shopping cart’ remark to Kate and telling her ‘You have to exude something!’ - “Like you should exude tact.”
Tom Bergeron on Dancing With The Stars

CARRIE ANN INABA
“Sadly, people still don't take judge Bruno seriously. So the man reacts to well-built, handsome athlete Chad Ochocinco's sensuous dance routine by repeating the word ‘huge’ and gesturing with his hands as if he was measuring something - a large sausage, say - to describe his talent. Completely innocent. Yet the next thing you know, Carrie Ann Inaba is leading the audience in a giggle fest worthy of a gaggle of schoolgirls. Why is anybody's guess. And we are as stunned as Bruno.”
Peter Gilstrap on EOnline.com

LEN GOODMAN
After the English judge had criticized Buzz’s Cha-Cha-Cha - “How's that British space program?”
Tom Bergeron on Dancing With The Stars

“Looney Len seriously needs to give up his judges seat and give it to someone who would certainly be nicer in comparison such as Ann Coulter, Howard Stern, or any member of the Ku Klux Klan.”
Abel Rodriguez on TheSpoof.com

MOST TENUOUS D.W.T.S. LINK OF THE WEEK

“The new celebrities on Dancing With The Stars are prime targets for alien abductions. E.T. researcher Dr. Bruce Goldberg, author of Time Travelers From Our Future, says most alien abductions occur when people are vulnerable, tired, and stressed. That’s exactly how amateur dancers like Pamela Anderson will feel once the intense TV competition starts.
Goldberg says aliens may prey on the stars, who’ll be too worn-out to put up a fight. They’ll get them on the operating table through “mental manipulation.”
E.T.s will go for ‘distracted’ targets like The Bachelor’s Jake Pavelka who’s too in love to be aware. Shannen Doherty may be safe because aliens hate conflict and humans with strong personalities, and Buzz Aldrin is too old to be a desirable research specimen. Goldberg says fans can tell if a celebrity has been abducted by the presence of ‘strange scars’ on their calves from alien implants.”
FlashNews.com

For more Dancing With The Stars quotes, quizzes, reviews and comments, go to:
DANCING WITH THE QUOTES
or
BLUE EYED QUOTES

Which quotes were your favorites? Any you disagree with?
Are there any fun DWTS quotes that I missed out?
Let me know in the 'Post a Comment' below.

And don't forget to check back in for more "Quotes of the Week" as well as other great stuff on Dancing With The Stars and dancing in general.

Colin M Jarman

You can also follow me on Twitter

Photo of Evan & Anna courtesy of Adam Larkey / ABC TV

2010-04-26T13:57:00.000+01:00

2SRG865W965K

“DANCING WITH THE STARS” - WEEK ONE LAUNCH PARTY

2010-04-26T13:56:00.000+01:00

“DANCING WITH THE STARS”
WEEK ONE LAUNCH PARTY

With the Dancing With The Stars season-opener only a few hours old, it is time to look back and critique the eleven celebrities’ opening routines.

In honor of the new ‘red room’ - a glass-paneled ‘aquarium’ as dubbed by Tom Bergeron - this Week One run down has a distinct aquatic flow to it.

“Dancing With The Stars is based on a fish out of water concept. And that at least one of the ‘stars’ each season has all the moves of a whale. A Tom DeLay, Steve Wozniak or Jerry Springer.”
D.L. Stewart in The Dayton Daily News (2009)

BUZZ ALDRIN [Cha-Cha-Cha] with Ashly Costa
At 80, Buzz was many people’s pre-show favorite to be this season’s whale. Being honest, he didn’t disappoint. This superannuated-hero moved as though earth’s gravity was his arch-enemy and the music was aural Kryptonite. But I dare any man half his age to look half as refined or dignified on the dance floor. And boy, didn’t he look like that cha-cha with Ashly was the most fun he’d had since he partnered Neil Armstrong on the moon. In fact, he had a whale of a time. Next week in the ballroom let’s see if can morph into a dancing dolphin.

NICOLE SCHERZINGER [Viennese Waltz] with Derek Hough
If a mermaid could swim up the River Danube and waltz to the strains of the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in the summer moonlight, then it would have come close to looking like Ms. Scherzinger. Nicole, you really did 'Take My Breath Away!' Looking as beautiful as a Pussycat Dresden Doll, she could have danced to Berlin’s pomp classic and still not have missed a step. Her performance was so transfixing, you almost forgot she had a partner. Did someone finally put Derek in the corner!?

JAKE PAVELKA [Viennese Waltz] with Chelsie Hightower
Surprisingly, The Bachelor - who had been my pick to be this season’s whale - proved to be a pilot fish … and a Jedi pilot fish at that. He stealthily used the force to guide his partner round the dance floor (away from the dark side - aka Darth Goodman). The one thing that almost grounded Jake’s low-level flying display was Chelsie’s flowing locks … which are in dire need of Hair Traffic Control.

NIECY NASH [Cha-Cha-Cha] with Louis Van Amstel
Not so much Finding Nemo as finding her mojo, Niecy came out and shook it like a clown fish on laughing gas. It was a riot of shimmies and shakes and killer moves that were three parts Shakira and one part Shamu. Though (‘Whoopi-alert’) what was with channeling a tranced-up Oda Mae Brown in front of the judges’ table? Wrong actor from Ghost, Niecy. Next week go for the Swayze vibe not Goldberg. And, do not, repeat, do not mimic Demi Moore in her Striptease dance mode.

EVAN LYSACEK [Viennese Waltz] with Anna Trebunskaya
Easiest celebrity to plaice … this Olympian was a glittering goldfish on the dance floor - a treasure to watch during a 24-carat performance of ease and élan. Such was his presence that he put the poise into porpoise as he sashayed round the floor like an elegant electric eel in Fred Astaire tails.

KATE GOSSELIN [Viennese Waltz] with Tony Dovolani
Q. What lies on the ocean floor and shakes? A. a nervous wreck.
Unfortunately, the same has to be said about Octomum who turned into an Octopus - all arms and legs, squirms and wriggles. On the dance floor Kate’s nerves were of the Titanic variety. She sank without a trace. Despite the expert guidance from Tony, as cool as the proverbial iceberg, Kate’s lack of performance skills sadly let her down. Next week this domestic goddess and mother figure needs to find a killer instinct - perhaps a Nurse Shark - or she will be chum in the DWTS waters.

CHAD OCHOCINCO [Cha-Cha-Cha] with Cheryl Burke
The NFL’s outspoken #85 is used to going deep and he went so deep into his cha-cha that I half-expected him to emerge as a Coelacanth. Usually Chad’s lips do lie, but here his hips did not. The moves he usually uses to shake off cornerbacks crossed over onto the dance floor. He revealed more rhythm and style than Deion Sanders on his trademark touchdown trot. How Chad fares in training for the strict discipline of next week’s ballroom will be a highlight reel in itself.

ERIN ANDREWS [Cha-Cha-Cha] with Maksim Chermiskovsky
Famed for swanning up and down the sports sidelines, Erin showed herself to be more than capable of performing center stage. She bust out moves that reminded me of her native Florida baseball team. She danced like a magnificent Marlin tail-walking on the glistening waves. She is the true sport fish of DWTS. This girl is definitely not a sports anchor on the dance floor.

AIDEN TURNER [Cha-Cha-Cha] with Edyta Sliwinska
Dancing to Hungry Like A Wolf, Aiden played it extra-safe … not so much Duran Duran more Durex Durex. His cautious cha-cha resembled the cast of The Sea Wolves - that 1980s geriatric war movie with stiff upper lipped English types David Niven and Roger Moore. In his cha-cha, Aiden was stiff upper everythinged … he needs to be less flat footed and more Footloose next week.

SHANNEN DOHERTY [Viennese Waltz] with Mark Ballas
This was a dark, dark waltz … ‘twenty thousand leagues under the sea’ dark. Mark’s challenging choreography was more fitting for a DWTS final than week one. But Shannen stepped up to the challenge and was simply sensational in her shimmering mother of pearl dress. And most of all, this mother of all Viennese waltzes made her father - watching in the audience - proud.

PAMELA ANDERSON [Cha-Cha-Cha] with Damian Whitewood
Pamela burst out as pumped as a Puffer fish, as showy-offy as an over-stimulated dolphin in Sea World, and as horny as a horned terrapin overdosed on horny goat weed. She ‘stacked’ her routine with more grinds and gear-changes than Barbara Kopetski on a hopped-up Harley hairpinning Lombard Street in San Fran. This was a cha-cha that put the ‘cha’ into unchaste and ripped the ‘cha’ out of saccharine.

WOW! What a Week One Wonder! How are all twenty-two dancers going to top that incredible launch party? Check back here to find out …

COLIN M JARMAN

Pic of Buzz Aldrin & Ashly Costa copyright DWTS / ABC TV

DANCING WITH THE STARS PRE-SHOW QUOTES Part 2

2010-04-26T13:52:00.000+01:00

"DANCING WITH THE STARS"
PRE-SHOW QUOTES Part 2

With just hours to the first non-elimination show of the new series of Dancing With The Stars, here is the latest selection of pre-show comments and quotes by & about the celebrities, the professionals and the show itself. And do not miss the special offer at the end.

Why ABC reduced the celebrities from 16 on the last season to 11 - “That first show … It looked like a spray tan bus stop.”
Tom Bergeron on SeaCoastOnline.com

“A Bachelor. The premier Baywatch babe. A bad girl. Reality TV’s favorite naggy multiple mom. A figure skater. And an 80-year-old astronaut. This is either going to be the best, most insanely awesome season of Dancing With The Stars or the most awesome train wreck, a mismatched, ‘No, don’t go in there!’ horror movie of a show. Which means it’s still going to be amazing.”
Leslie Gray Streeter & Jonathan Tully on PBPulse.com

“If an evening of bodies gyrating in blurs of sweat and sequins is your idea of a good time, are you ever in luck. Here comes a new run of Dancing With the Stars. The hit ABC series is back for a 10th season of celebrity D-listers (and token A-listers) paired with professional dancers as they samba, sashay and occasionally stumble their way to a sparkly discoball trophy and, for some, a shot at career resuscitation. And all in skintight, shimmering outfits that make figure skaters look like hobos.”
René A Guzman in The Houston Chronicle

“DWTS is unique from some others in that, yes, it's a reality show and there is a high cheese factor, but there's also a sense that enough people have appeared on it who aren't just crashed ex-stars, that it's kind of a hip thing to get on your résumé. Maybe not as hip as being made fun of on Family Guy, but getting a position on Dancing With the Stars is a cool thing to have done.”
Robert Thompson in The New York Daily News

“And so it begins. Is there anyone who will NOT be watching to see how they choreograph Pamela Anderson's breasts? All right, yes - some of you are rooting for Kate Gosselin's weave to get caught in a high kick.”
Paige Wiser in The Chicago Sun Times

On turning down a spot on 'DWTS 10' - “I have been asked. And I've thanked them very profusely. And I said, no thank you. I think Cloris Leachman took care of that whole department. It would be fun and I would love it. But I think there comes a time when I don't want to embarrass the audience. Cloris did it and she did fine. So I think she's taken care of our age bracket.”
Betty White on Larry King Live

“A lot of eager fans want Aldrin to attempt the moonwalk. We just want him to get through this thing without doing a face-plant. The guy is 80, and someone needs to tell him that there's no defying gravity in this down-to-Earth competition. If he succeeds, it will be one small step for man, one giant leap for old dudes.”
TheProvince.com

“A bona-fide hero, the second man to step on the moon, Buzz Aldrin could stumble across the floor and still get votes.”
Verne Gay in Newsday

On how to perform a real Moonwalk on the moon - “I got in front of the camera and I just started prancing around with a kangaroo hop, not too good for moving around either on the moon or here. It turns out that something like a horse gallop, where you put one foot down, then the other, is pretty darn effective, because low gravity and the space suit make everything seem like in slow motion."
‘Buzz’ Aldrin on CNN.com

More ‘Buzz’ - “This dude, for an 80 year old - he could probably bench-press me if he wanted to.”
Evan Lysacek on Access Hollywood

“If you take Evan’s age and multiply by three, it’s still eight years younger than me.”
‘Buzz’ Aldrin

On his tip to win ‘DWTS 10’ - “It could be Evan. He performs choreography on ice. He's like Baryshnikov on ice!”
Derek Hough in TV Guide

On her pro partner Maksim - “I think it’s funny when you are paired up with a really attractive guy. You turn into a 15-year-old and don't know what to do … he makes me nervous!”
Erin Andrews on Hollywood Life

“I have no problem with the costumes because this is a professional dancer so they know what they are doing and I trust them. I don't look at it as wearing a short skirt or that you are wearing something skimpy ... It's what they do for a living. It's their profession so I think it's cool to be a part of it.”
Erin Andrews

On precautions to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions with her skimpy dance outfits - “They will be stapled to my body … as they have to be.”
Pamela Anderson on Bloomberg.com

“Jake Pavelka - By far the prototypical bland Ken doll of the bunch. And on DWTS, boring is death. Early exit, doll man.”
René A Guzman in The Houston Chronicle

On training with Louis Van Amstel - “He works me out really hard, he forces my body to do things I didn't think it could, and he even lets me have a cheeseburger.”
Niecy Nash on EOnline.com

“Nicole is like, ‘Wait a minute. I'm a singer who just happens to do a few chest bumps and a few head rolls.’ That's what she compares her dancing to. But what's so great about this season is that I don't think there is a definite ringer.”
Derek Hough in TV Guide

When DWTS 10 starts let us not forget these great people: Kym, Dmitry, Jonathan, Karina, Anna D, Julianne, Alec, Lacey & Samantha - you all will be missed.

COLIN M JARMAN
The Quotable Dancer

DANCING WITH THE STARS - The First Nine Series

2010-04-26T13:49:00.000+01:00

Here are some of my favorite quotations covering the first nine series of DWTS taken from the Dancing With The Quotes book …

D.W.T.S. 1

“When John O’Hurley ‘loses’ a step, it frequently ‘appears’ in other places where it does not belong. But he is a joy to watch.”
Charlotte Jørgensen in People magazine (2005)

D.W.T.S. 2

On Master P & Ashly DelGrosso-Costa’s Paso Doble - “Their Paso was horrifying, with P clodding around the floor without any sense of choreography or movement. Sadly, what’s most conspicuous about watching P and Ashly dance is how hard she’s trying to make it look like they’re dancing together when they aren’t … It’s like watching a competitive hot-dog-eating contest and trying to judge it as gymnastics.”
Linda Holmes on MSNBC.com (2006)

D.W.T.S. 3

On Mario Lopez’s Mambo - “His performance stood out from the pack for the obvious reason: That Mambo was as white-hot as his tight, tight pants.”
Annie Barrett in Entertainment Weekly (2008)

D.W.T.S. 4

On Billy Ray Cyrus’ Waltz - “The trouble was there was only one recognizable step - the Shadow Botafogos … and that’s a Samba step!”
Len Goodman on Dancing With The Stars (2007)

D.W.T.S. 5

On Cameron Mathison’s Samba - “Cameron, who may have missed the mark with his tribal Samba but was considered both the season’s most improved contestant and the next-likeliest to take his shirt off.”
Natalie Finn on EOnline.com (2007)

D.W.T.S. 6

“Last week, judge Carrie Ann Inaba told our 6’6” star Jason Taylor to dance tall. That’s like telling Marissa Jaret Winokur to dance short!”
Tom Bergeron on Dancing With The Stars (2008)

D.W.T.S. 7

On their Foxtrot - “Brooke Burke and Derek Hough earned the show’s first perfect score for a flawless Foxtrot that could’ve been danced on cirrus clouds.”
Tim Appelo on Film.com (2008)

D.W.T.S. 8

“At rehearsals, Steve Wozniak opines that though keeping track of the dance steps is very mathematical and left brain, the dancing itself is very analogue. It’s a safe bet this conclusion has not been reached by any other contestants in the history of the show.”
Holly Cara Price on HuffingtonPost.com (2009)

D.W.T.S. 9

On Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson’s Jive - “Kym’s worried about the Jive since Donny’s the second oldest person in the competition, but Kym, there’s nothing a ham can’t do ... in a suede purple suit.”
Joyce Eng in TV Guide (2009)

DANCING WITH THE ‘ASTAIRES’

2010-04-26T13:48:00.000+01:00

DANCING WITH THE ‘ASTAIRES’

“Long before Dancing With The Stars brought rappers and bull-riders to the ballroom floor,
there was Fred Astaire, bringing song and dance to the big screen.”

Jane Clayson on OnPointRadio.org (2009)

One wonders how the original dancing star Fred Astaire would relate to the modern dance phenomenon that is Dancing With The Stars. As a perfectionist’s perfectionist in so many ways, Fred would not have enjoyed the idea of untrained celebrities clogging up his dance floor.

After all, Fred was very particular who he danced with and how his partners danced with him. Given the chance to film Royal Wedding with the classically-trained Moira Shearer - after her dazzling success in The Red Shoes - Fred was not impressed and refused to cast her, “I know she’s wonderful, but what the hell could I do with her?” Just imagine what Fred would do with Pamela Anderson or Nicole Scherzinger on this season’s DWTS.

Apart from the physical act of dancing, there seems little common ground between Fred Astaire and Dancing With The Stars. One is the undisputed ‘grand fromage’ of the dance world; the other is just downright cheesy.

With a stellar career stretching over sixty years, Fred would think nothing of spending two to three weeks working on a single step. The eleven celebrities who step onto the DWTS dance floor for the first time on Monday will do so after three weeks ‘perfecting’ their opening routine. However hard they have worked or however light on their feet, they will not come close to matching Fred’s memory.

Nor can we expect these dancing debutants to get within ten per cent of matching Fred’s dance steps. This natural disparity in artistry has not prevented the DWTS judges - who really should know better - from repeatedly comparing two left-footed amateurs with the too deft-footed master.

In last season’s Dancing With The Stars, judge Bruno Tonioli inexplicably dragged up Fred’s memory as early as the third show. And show three is way too soon to be unleashing complimentary comments of the Astaire kind. A straight-faced Bruno unabashedly declared that Aaron Carter - after he had quickstepped, as you do, to the theme from The Muppet Show - was a “mini Fred Astaire.”

Aaron took the mini-accolade in good heart although he looked a little confused. He may well have been wondering who this Fred Astaire was; as the legend had passed away just six months before Aaron was born in 1987.

Judge Bruno had previous indictments for comparing dance floor jesters with the ballroom king. One of his most memorable proclamations befell undefeated boxing world champion Joe Calzaghe on the UK version of DWTS. Following a faltering foxtrot to Feeling Good, Bruno KO’d the pugilist by informing him that “You’ve got the look of Fred Astaire … but you dance like Fred A-Stiff.”

Describing a muscle-bound boxer as looking like Fred Astaire is simply wrong on so many levels. After nine seasons of Dancing With The Stars, the most accurate comment using Fred as a benchmark came from an unlikely source. Following her early elimination from season 9, former swimsuit model Kathy Ireland called her professional partner, Tony Dovolani, “the Fred Astaire of our generation.”

On the face of it calling anybody the new Fred Astaire is tantamount to ballroom blasphemy. In Tony Dovolani’s case, it is a sobriquet that sits more easily on his broad shoulders than probably any other dancer around today.

Like Fred’s father Fritz Austerlitz who came from Eastern Europe, Tony was born in Albania. Like Fred, he started dancing very young - folk-dancing at the age of three. Like Fred, his family emigrated to the USA. In the States, Tony continued his love of dancing and enrolled - where else - at a Fred Astaire Dance Academy. To this day, Tony still works very closely with the Academy named for his hero and is extremely proud of his connection to the Astaire (d)ancestry.

Although most well-known for his appearances on DWTS, Tony also happens to be a two-time World Professional Rhythm Champion. Whatever Fred achieved in his illustrious career, he was never a world champion.

With a cameo and coaching role on the Richard Gere / Jennifer Lopez ballroom movie Let’s Dance, Tony has taken his first steps in following Fred onto the big screen.

Fred Astaire would not have liked the crude showmanship and amateur hour dramatics of Dancing With The Stars, but had he seen Tony Dovolani dance he may well have said the same things about Tony that Tony had said of him.

“Fred Astaire was the classiest person that ever existed in our industry.
He was suave, he was smooth, he had everything.”

It was famously said of Ginger Rogers that she did everything that Fred Astaire did but backwards and in high heels. The same could be said of Tony … in that he does everything that Fred Astaire did but he does it with a partner who cannot dance. Dancing with the real stars like Ginger, Cyd Charisse or Rita Hayworth is one thing; training and dancing with the likes of Kate Gosselin on DWTS 10 is another matter entirely.

COLIN M JARMAN

Dancing With The Stars Season 10 premieres on ABC TV on Mon, March 22nd.

For more on Fred Astaire and Dancing With the Stars, take a look at our books that cover the sixty-year career of Fred Astaire and the first 9 seasons of DWTS.

For details of the US / Global edition of the Fred Astaire book click here ...

Dancing on Astaire: 2000 Biographical Quotations about the World's Greatest Dancer: Fred Astaire

For details of the UK / Europe Paperback & Hardback editions of the Fred Astaire book click here ...
BLUE EYED BOOK SHOP

For details of Dancing With The Quotes:
1000 Humorous Quotations on T.V. Dance Shows

Photos Credits:
Fred Astaire copyright JupiterImagesCorpn (Getty Images)
Tony Dovolani / Kathy Ireland copyright ABC TV
Book Covers copyright Blue Eyed Books

DANCING WITH THE STARS Best of the Pre-Show Soundbites

2010-04-26T13:44:00.000+01:00

With two week’s training behind them and one week before the start of DWTS 10, the Dancing With The Stars’ couples are busy putting the finishing touches to their first night routines.

In what is traditionally a quiet time - between announcing the celebrities and the first show - this is a good time to recap on what has been written and said about this current crop of dancing stars.

These are my favorite soundbites, so far, leading up to DWTS 10.

“Trading in his skates for dance shoes, Evan Lysacek won't be able to move quite as fast without the ice beneath him - but hey, at least he'll be warmer.”
Larry Carroll on MTV.com

“Is Dancing with the Stars' Mirrorball trophy more prestigious than an Olympic gold medal?”
Joyce Eng on TVGuide.com

On criticism of Pamela Anderson being too top heavy to be able to dance well - “Keeping your weight forward, that's a good thing, right? Her weight is over her toes!”
Damian Whitewood on People.com

On challenging Pamela Anderson for the ‘sexy’ spotlight - “She can have that domain as far as I'm concerned. I'm not an exhibitionist at all. I'm a little bit conservative. And my grandmother is watching this from Mississippi and would kill me if showed too much skin!”
Shannen Doherty on NBCPhiladelphia.com

“Shannen Doherty to compete on Dancing With the Stars; in related news, the dance floor will be covered with a giant picture of Tori Spelling's face.”
‘The Bullseye’ on EW.com

“ESPN hottie Erin Andrews is partnered with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, in what would be our best bet for chemistry that extends beyond the parquet.”
Breanne L. Heldman on EOnline.com

“Max gave the best analogy. It's like you're a NFL player and you just got thrown into a hockey rink ... It doesn't matter what I did before.”
Erin Andrews on Entertainment Tonight

On his partner Cheryl Burke - “We are exactly alike when it comes to dancing - even though I don't dance. But we have the same goals, and that's winning.”
Chad Ochocinco on Entertainment Tonight

On the media furor surrounding Kate Gosselin’s appearance on 'DWTS' - “Let the hype build. It will only mean a bigger audience will be on hand for Kate's ultimate night of reckoning on ABC. If she genuinely disciplines herself and learns to dance and is great on the stage, then so be it. It is not like she helped pass healthcare bill or saved the life of a child in danger, but it is an accomplishment of sorts, and she should be applauded.”
David Zurawik on BaltimoreSun.com

“As much as I love Tony Dovolani's optimistic approach (he calls himself a painter with a empty canvas), and think he's an artist worthy of a masterpiece, Kate Gosselin is not the right blank slate for Tony to work with, because she's not a blank slate at all.”
Meghan Carlson on BuddyTV.com

“New DWTS pro Damian Whitewood, is a hottie, so here's hoping Pamela uses him like a partner, not a pole.”
Meghan Carlson on BuddyTV.com

“Aiden looks great shirtless, and he's British. Sex appeal + sexy accent + the sex in a bottle that is Edyta Sliwinska's entire essence = must-see TV, and "must vote" thoughts from women across America.”
Meghan Carlson on BuddyTV.com

“At DWTS rehearsal and my feet are killing me but I'm focused!! Louis+Niecy= Mayhem & Foolishness!”
Niecy Nash on Twitter
“I peeked in on Buzz’s rehearsal. He has some hip moves and I don’t know if America is ready for it.”
Niecy Nash on People.com
“I have been paired with Mr. Derek Hough, and as soon as I can get some personality in that guy and some charisma, then I think we can go far … The first dance that we've been assigned is the Viennese waltz. I just learned how to say that properly, I've been calling it the Vietnamese waltz.”
Nicole Scherzinger on MTV News

Check back in to BLOG ON THE DANCE FLOOR during the next few weeks, for a choice selection of the best soundbites from DWTS 10.

For more soundbites from Dancing With The Stars, go to:
http://bit.ly/2Vs67w
or
http://bit.ly/bF2P0Y

DANCING WITH THE STARS - MEET THE CELEBS

2010-04-26T13:40:00.000+01:00

We now know the 11 celebrities that will be hot-footing it on Dancing With The Stars Season 10. Some names are known to all, some are - let’s be honest and as per usual on DWTS - barely household names in their own house.

What we do know about all 11 is that are in for an experience of a lifetime (well, okay, except for the one dude who has stepped out on the moon). So, how well prepared are these celebrities? Do any of them have any previous dance experience or any background that may help them out?

One celeb has already ‘danced’ on DWTS … well, in the audience. EVAN LYSACEK also admits he has some illustrious dance shoes or skating boots to fill, “I would love to try Dancing With The Stars. I was a proud audience member (and cheerleader) as my friends Kristi and Apolo danced their way to the mirrorball trophy. All I have heard from everyone that has done the show is what a blast it is. That could be a good way for me to do something extremely challenging, but also fun to celebrate my Olympic win.” As long as Evan doesn’t dance like a Zamboni on dry land, he should go a long way to emulating his ice buddies.

The celeb most likely to be strutting his stuff on the show and letting everyone know about it is NFL wide out and self-styled wide-mouth CHAD OCHOCINCO. The Bengals' star receiver has a history of elaborate celebratory end-zone dances after scoring a touchdown. Chad hinted at his dance floor versatility when contemplating scoring a TD against the Titans, “Tennessee is a very country-type state. Maybe I can practice on some type of country-western dance where they'll know what I'm doing.” Chad is definitely a little bit country and a little bit ‘raw control.’

The celeb least likely to impress the judges is supermum KATE GOSSELIN. She freely admits to having two left feet, “I want to laugh at myself. I so cannot dance. It would be a sad sight.” Let’s hope for her kids’ sake, her lack of dancing ability is not hereditary. Unlikely that Kate will be seeing any scores from Len, Bruno or Carrie Ann of plus 8.

At the other end of the dancing spectrum is ERIN ANDREWS. The ESPN sports reporter is more used to waltzing up and down the sidelines but is happy to be center stage on the dance floor, “I grew up as a dancer. I've danced my whole life, so my lifelong dream was to be a backup dancer for Britney.”

Another celeb with the looks and the dance experience is NICOLE SCHERZINGER. The lead Pussycat Doll may have an unfair leg up with her raunchy dance moves but how will she cope with the discipline required for the ballroom routines? She summed up her style of dance when the Dolls opened their club in Las Vegas, “It’s somewhere where people can go and see an old school show with real dancing and real performing and real singing. It's perfect for Vegas. It's got that whole cabaret, burlesque-inspired review of dancing, and the whole fishnets, and boas.”

Matching Nicole in the glamor stakes is perennial pin up PAMELA ANDERSON. Having danced in her film Barb Wire and famously lap danced for Hugh Hefner, the dancing should not prove any problem for the former Playmate. Her dilemma lies if she wins DWTS, “I have this phobia: I don't like mirrors.” It will be interesting to see what Pam does if she wins the mirrorball trophy but the odds are ‘Stacked’ against this ‘V.I.P.’

One celeb who will be looking forward to wearing the skimpiest dance outfits is SHANNEN DOHERTY. She once famously remarked in her own divine way, “If God wanted us to be naked, why did he invent sexy lingerie?” The barely-there costumes worn by the likes of Edyta and Chelsea will hold no fears for Shannen just so long as the judges do not score her in their often random manner: 9 - 02 -10.

This year’s Bachelor is an unknown quantity. JAKE PAVELKA might be able to pilot his pro partner round the dance floor, but is he in for a crash landing? With little or no dance experience to work with he does know what sort of life partner he was attracted to, “I was looking for someone that is adventurous and intelligent ... athletic, compassionate, romantic.” He’s lucky … most of the DWTS female professionals fit that description and more.

It is doubtful that NIECY NASH will dance while wearing the preposterous prosthetic posterior she sports on Reno 911. Having seen how poorly Kim Kardashian danced with a real rump Niecy would be advised to lose the extra weight. And losing weight is something Niecy has experienced courtesy of Jenny Craig, “I lost a total of 45 pounds. Matter of fact, last time I saw Mo'Nique, she said ‘Come on back, the big girls need you.’ I said, ‘No they don't. They got you, I'm good.’ ” As most celebs who danced on the show have lost significant poundage DWTS could easily stand for Dieting With The Stars.

Astronaut BUZZ ALDRIN has spent 12 days in space. Whether he will last as long on DWTS is another matter. The oldest man ever to appear on Dancing With The Stars, it remains to be seen how weightless he will be on his 80-year-old legs. No cheap jokes about doing a Michael Jackson moonwalk but an interesting fact about Buzz is that he married Marion Moon (good job he didn’t marry Veronica Mars). Fellow moonwalker Neil Armstrong once said, “I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.” Buzz had better not subscribe to the same work ethic when it comes to dancing.

All I know about the final celebrity AIDEN TURNER is that he was born in England … Welwyn Garden City (north of London). He will be hoping that the dance gods are smiling on him as WGC was also the birthplace of Strictly Come Dancing Series 5 winner Alseha Dixon. More dancing coincidence bodes well for Aiden in that he appeared in the UK soap Eastenders which also boasted SCD Series 2 winner Jill Halfpenny.

There we have our 11 Season 10 celebrities. Who will be first to exit and who will be the lucky one to lift the DWTS trophy? At this early stage, I forecast Kate for the first elimination (she really does need the quality time with her kids) and adding the mirrorball trophy to his recent gold medal will be Evan Lysacek.

Whoever wins or loses, it is just great to have Dancing With The Stars back on our screens.

Colin M Jarman

For more DWTS action, check out DANCING WITH THE QUOTES.

DEREK HOUGH - Choreographer or Lexicographer

2010-04-26T13:37:00.000+01:00

As Dancing With The Stars’ fans know well, Derek Hough is a man of many talents: dancer, choreographer, musician, singer, songwriter, actor, director, TV panelist, socialite, model and professional chest-barer.

But … what makes up the real Derek Hough?

Without being able to perform invasive surgery or psychoanalyze his mind to see what lurks inside him, I decided to use the letters in DEREK HOUGH to see what ‘new’ words could be made to describe this multi-faceted performer?

For what they are worth, here are my Top Five (in no particular order) …

ROGUE
DH is the rascally rumbustious rapscallion of the dance floor. (If you don’t know what a rapscallion is … go ask Len Goodman. HINT: It’s not something ‘Lil Kim has for lunch in the Olive Garden).

DORK
What DH can be when he goofs around on camera. Pointing a camera at DH is like pointing a particle accelerator at a plate of mercury (OK, Quantum Physicists, don’t bother writing in … {as if any Q.P.s will be reading this. Though Einstein did write, “Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune intoned in the distance by an invisible player.” Presuming that ‘invisible player’ is not the Harold Wheeler Band}).

EDGE
DH choreographs all his dance routines oh-so-close to the periphery of perpendicular expression that he makes U2’s ax-man look like a three-fingered Guitar Hero 5 rookie. And not forgetting that DH is so smooth and lubricious that he should be sponsored by that eponymous shaving gel company.

GOD
DH is undoubtedly a Dancing With The Stars deity (well, to himself and all his fans). If Michael Flatley is the (probably self-proclaimed) Fire God of dance, then DH must be the Fireproof God of DWTS: the sequin and satin nomex version. Equally Tucker Carlson can lay claim to being the dancing Fire Hydrant of DWTS.

ODE
Every DH dance master class is an ode to joy of dancing spirit and an ode to freedom of choreographed movement. In essence, Derek puts the joy, the freedom - and above all else, puts the ‘D’ into D.W.T.S.

Can anyone else think of any other words from ‘DEREK HOUGH’ that describe the EDGE-skirting, ODE-inspiring, GOD-like DORKy ROGUE? Comments and suggestions gratefully received.

COLIN M JARMAN

For more on Derek, right click on the following link to a great DH fan site: PureDerekHough

Dancing With The All-Stars?

2010-04-26T13:33:00.000+01:00

Amongst all the print media and social media gossip, one celebrity name that has been bandied about a lot for Dancing With The Stars Season 10 is former American Idol judge Paula Abdul.

Unless there are two PAs in the world, isn't Paula a professional dancer / choreographer? She was discovered by The Jackson when she was working as a Laker girl in the early eighties. That’s almost 30 years of dance experience.

Isn't having a professional choreographer on Dancing With The Stars just a tad unfair to the other ‘regular’ celebs? Not unless they happen to be Mia Michaels, Fatima Robinson, Laurie Ann Gibson, or, even, Twyla Tharp.

One solution to the perennial DWTS dilemma of a little (not 30 years) ‘Past Dance Experience’ that has beset the likes of Mya Harrison, Stacey Kiebler and even Series 6 winner ice dancer Kristi Yamaguchi is an All-Star DWTS.

A Dancing With The Stars All-Star show could go two ways: A-List Celebrity or A-List Dancer.

Bruce Miller, in The Sioux City Journal, suggested as far back as last year that Paula would be a great addition to the show, “Note to DWTS producers: How about getting real dancers going against real dancers? Here’s where Paula Abdul could shine. Stick her against Ben Vereen, Savion Glover, Chita Rivera and Debbie Allen and we might just have a show.”
Agreed, but I prefer the idea of having the past Dancing With The Stars champions return for an All-Star special. After the next season of DWTS, we will have 10 champions … more than enough to make up a viable All-Star mini-series. We do not need a three-month series just a few shows to pit the likes of Apolo Anton Ohno against fellow Olympian Yamaguchi or have Drew Lachey square-dancing off against Donny Osmond.
Unfortunately, the chances of getting these 10 celebrity champions together at the same time for a few weeks look as remote as Angelina Jolie appearing on DWTS 11.

We can but dream.

Colin M Jarman

DANCE BLOGS TO FOLLOW

2010-04-26T13:27:00.000+01:00

SWAN LAKE SAMBA GIRL

Tonya Plank is one of my favorite dance writers that I follow on the web ... either via her Blog or on The Huffington Post.

A couple of her quotations appear in my dance books, including this one from Dancing With The Quotes ...

On Monica Seles' Foxtrot - "It was cute how they introduced tennis champ Monica: on a tennis court swinging a racket but in Ballroom attire. I hate to say it, but that’s kind of how her Foxtrot looked, too."
**Tonya Plank on HuffingtonPost.com (2008)

If you want to read more by Tonya, check out her ...

Excellent blog: SWAN LAKE SAMBA GIRL**

and this article about DWTS & SYTYCD for The Huffington Post
Dancing With the Stars Needs to Do Something Other than Add Social Dances and a Non-Ballroom Judge to Spice Up the Show

Tonya has also has a novel SWALLOW that is well worth checking out.

Find out what Tonya thought of Dancing With The Quotes here.

DWTS FAN BLOG

DWTS Doodles: Who Thought Dancing Could Be So Funny?

So You Think You Can Strictly Come Dancing With The Stars ??

2010-04-26T13:15:00.000+01:00

Albania, Argentina, Austria, Belgium, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brazil, Bulgaria, Chile, China, Croatia, The Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Germany, India, Israel, Italy, Japan, Latvia, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Romania, Russia, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, Sweden, and Ukraine all have their own version of ‘Dancing With The Stars.’

Yes, the number of ‘DWTS’ spin offs around the world is quite amazing.

Too many countries! In my book on TV Dance Shows (Dancing With The Quotes) there is only room for the USA, Australia and New Zealand shows along with ‘SYTYCD’ in the USA, Canada and the UK. Just too many others to worry about and most don't have English as their first language (a definite drawback for a book of quotations).

To me, the most amazing fact about ‘DWTS’ and all its global spin offs is that the show originally came from the UK, where it is called ‘Strictly Come Dancing.’

The UK title is a hybrid of two different dance titles.

The 'Strictly' part comes from the Baz Luhrmann film 'Strictly Ballroom.'

Doug Hastings [Barry Otto]: Where do you think we’d be if everyone went around making up their own steps?
Scott Hastings [Paul Mercurio]: Out of a job.

in Strictly Ballroom (1992)

'Come Dancing' was a competitive ballroom dance show for formation dance teams. The show started on BBC TV in 1949 and ran through to its ‘last dance’ in 1998.

“Remember ‘Come Dancing’? That was a dance contest and we all grew bored of it because it was full of hairsprayed waltzers with smiles so taut you could pluck them like a banjo string.”

The London Times (2008)

As ‘Come Dancing’ was a typically British show and meant little to anyone outside of the UK, the BBC were forced to come up with a new name for its global spin offs: hence ‘Dancing With The Stars.’

So with all the mega success of the ‘DWTS’ franchise its quick-stepmother (as I like to call it) is ‘Strictly Come Dancing.’

Colin M Jarman

DANCING WITH THE QUOTES - http://amzn.com/1907338039
DWTQ TWITTER - https://twitter.com/DANCINGWTQUOTES
BLUE EYED BOOKS - http://www.blueeyedbooks.com/
BLOG ON THE DANCE FLOOR - http://www.blogonthedancefloor.com/