“It's that time of year again, when washed-up Baywatch stars and astronauts take to the dance floor to mambo with professional tanning bed testers in body glitter (who also happen to be very good at step-ball-achangin'). It's time for Dancing With the Stars!”
Cristina Kinon on NYDailyNews.com

“It's amazing what people will go through for a poorly made discoball trophy.”
Peter Gicas on EOnline.com

“It's tough to win on Dancing With The Stars; first of all, just to get on the show you have to be at least a minor celebrity. And even if we harbor D-List hopes, not too many of us are serious about dancing: the odds an adult will take a dance class other than ballet in a year are 1 in 142.9.”
Jon Sobel on BookOfOdds.com

On the Week One pre-show nerves - “There was so much anxiety in the room tonight with everybody stretching, everybody trying to remember their routines. I know what it’s like and I wanted to just throw out the index cards and give everybody a big hug.”
Brooke Burke

“Between Jake's awkwardness, Kate Gosselin; whose facial expressions look like she may have soiled her pantyhose, and versions of songs that are worse than some Karaoke versions, Dancing With The Stars has a new avid viewer!”
Rayanne Mulier on Examiner.com



AIDEN TURNER
Edyta in training - “I feel like your mum teaching you how to walk.”
Aiden: “Well, I don’t think of you as my mum, at all.”
on Dancing With The Stars

To his fellow Englishman after a fairly sedate but sexy Cha-Cha-Cha - “You standing there just shaking your wobbly bits while Edyta’s dances about.”
Len Goodman on Dancing With The Stars

BUZZ ALDRIN
“You did a cha-cha-cha but it looked like you still had your moon boots on.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

“He is robotic at first, but gets his groove going eventually, if glacially. He is 80, after all. He does some kicks here and there, but spends most of the dance with at least one arm on his hip. Does that count as hip action?”
Joyce Eng on TVGuide.com

“Buzz Aldrin was so goofily endearing that no one seemed to mind his 14 out of 30 score - or the fact that most of his routine consisted of him just standing while his partner, Ashly Costa, orbited him.”
Megan Angelo in The Wall Street Journal

“Buzz Aldrin was simultaneously great and terrible - great as an 80-year-old American hero and terrible as a competing dancer. If the producers want to cast older celebrities, then they should take a page from the PGA's playbook and start a Seniors Tour.”
Tom Maurstad in The Dallas Morning News

CHAD OCHOCINCO
On his Cha-Cha-Cha - “You came out like a tiger … but you are a rough diamond at the moment, you need some polish.”
Len Goodman on Dancing With The Stars

Early Sunday morning tweets to his pro partner -
“Cheryl wake up and lets go rehearse, i had like 8 red bulls n cranberry juices and i want to fox trot right now damit!!”

“Can you hear, i want to dance right now lady get up, think mirror ball trophy.”
Chad Ochocinco on Twitter

ERIN ANDREWS
“Her cha-cha-cha has a fun party vibe to it and her footwork is pretty good, but why, oh why did she borrow something from Big Bird?”
Sammi-T on TVGrapevine.com

On her Cha-Cha-Cha - “She's working the hip action to Ke$ha'sTikTok. She's definitely got the ‘I smell something funky but I'm sexy’ look down. You know the one.”
Cristina Kinon on NYDailyNews.com

EVAN LYSACEK
On his Viennese Waltz - “You’ve got the wingspan of a 747 but you move with the grace of a swan.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

On his designer-labeled dance costumes - “We are working so hard on the technique, the dancing should speak for itself. Packaging is important, of course, but we definitely don’t want to subtract attention from the dance.”
Evan Lysacek in The Los Angeles Times

JAKE PAVELKA
On being too rough in the normally demure Viennese Waltz - “What you going to do in the rumba … Eat her?”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

“Keep your legs together. You look like you're on a horse.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

On his pre-training routine - “Chelsie has been stretching the snot out of me to prevent injuries. It hurts bad. We do 45 minutes every single morning. She just walks over and turns me into a pretzel until I cry.”
Jake Pavelka on TVGuide.com

KATE GOSSELIN
On her Viennese Waltz - “It looked like Tony was pushing a shopping cart around the floor … You have to exude something!”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

“Judge Len Goodman quickly shows that he is still as grouchy, crotchety, and cantankerous as ever. He hammered Shannon Doherty so hard with his remarks that he reduced TV's 'Bad Girl' to tears. He told astronaut Buzz Aldrin that he has a pet schnauzer that can dance better than him, and he told Kate Gosselin that if she could dance half as good as she can pop out kids she could be the next Ginger Rogers.”
Abel Rodriguez on The Spoof.com

NICOLE SCHERZINGER
On the difference between burlesque and ballroom dance - “It's a whole ‘nother world … it’s a far cry from chest pumps and booty dips.”
Nicole Scherzinger on Dancing With The Stars

On her Viennese Waltz - “Scherzinger - who’s better known for perfecting the sort of moves that get banned at middle school dances - was the picture of grace (or, as judge Bruno put it, ‘startling finesse!’)”
Megan Angelo in The Wall Street Journal

NIECY NASH
On her Cha-Cha-Cha - “This is like watching two personalities ... at times the saucy woman and at times the born-again virgin.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars

On her Cha-Cha-Cha - “Jiggly parts and all, Niecy and Louis' performance was 100 Percent Pure Cheese and damn, we needed some campy fun after the stilted rose-petaled uggggghhhh of Bachelor Jake.”
Annie Barrett on EW.com

On the other ‘DWTS 10’ celebrities - “They're all family. The crazy thing is Chad's competition, Nicole's competition, everyboy is competition, but I want to see them do well ... Niecy Nash impressed me the most. She was great! I'm a huge fan! Her family is kind of like the Osmonds.”
Jake Pavelka on TVGuide.com

“Celebrate ur jiggly parts!!!!” … “Rock your Thickness today!!”
Niecy Nash on Twitter

PAMELA ANDERSON
“Honestly, with her larger-than-life persona, her literal height, her hair all ratted up like that, her makeup, and the way she carried herself and did her thing to the utmost, she seemed a bit like a drag queen, no? And I don't mean that in a bad way! She was a really hot drag queen!”
Tonya Plank on HuffingtonPost.com

"OMG! Pamela Anderson on DWTS last night! She was better than I thought and fun, but pretty much a sexcapade."
Nancy O’Dell on Twitter

“She's rockin' the "just rolled out of bed look," if you roll out of bed in a hot pink, fringed mini. Her tousled hair has a life of its own. Seriously, it's moving better than she is!”
Joyce Eng on TVGuide.com

“It's a lot of fun. I've never danced in my life! I thought I might as well learn to dance sooner or later. I've done a few pole dances. There are not a lot of steps in pole-dancing, it's a lot of swinging around.”
Pamela Anderson on The Tonight Show

On having trouble adjusting to the much more demure Foxtrot - “Of all the things I’ve done in my life, I’m not going down in the Foxtrot.”
Pamela Anderson on The Tonight Show

“We want to do something different every time. It’s not always going to be sex, drugs, rock and roll and ripping off clothes.”
Pamela Anderson

SHANNEN DOHERTY
On her Viennese Waltz - “It didn't flow … you were swinging your arms around like a primate.”
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars


ASHLY COSTA
On meeting his 27-y-o pro partner for the first time - “When I first met Ashly, I thought this is a really cute babe.”
Buzz Aldrin [80-y-o] on Dancing With The Stars
 
EDYTA SLIWINSKA
On her heavily-fringed, almost-see-through, almost-there Cha-Cha ‘dress’ - “We are one gust of wind away from an F.C.C. fine.”
Tom Bergeron on Dancing With The Stars
 
MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY
Maksim on meeting for the first time - “They all ask for me”
Erin: “I didn’t ask for you … I asked for Tony.”
on Dancing With The Stars

On Erin’s frequent interruptions in training - “It's my only pleasure in life - to bitch at people, and you're taking it away from me,”
Maksim Chmerkovskiy on Dancing With The Stars
 

MARK BALLAS
“I need to get my fill of (ultimate ballroom show-off) Mark Ballas!”
Tonya Plank on HuffingtonPost.com



BRUNO TONIOLI
After Bruno’s ‘shopping cart’ remark to Kate and telling her ‘You have to exude something!’ - “Like you should exude tact.”
Tom Bergeron on Dancing With The Stars

CARRIE ANN INABA
“Sadly, people still don't take judge Bruno seriously. So the man reacts to well-built, handsome athlete Chad Ochocinco's sensuous dance routine by repeating the word ‘huge’ and gesturing with his hands as if he was measuring something - a large sausage, say - to describe his talent. Completely innocent. Yet the next thing you know, Carrie Ann Inaba is leading the audience in a giggle fest worthy of a gaggle of schoolgirls. Why is anybody's guess. And we are as stunned as Bruno.”
Peter Gilstrap on EOnline.com

LEN GOODMAN
After the English judge had criticized Buzz’s Cha-Cha-Cha - “How's that British space program?”
Tom Bergeron on Dancing With The Stars

“Looney Len seriously needs to give up his judges seat and give it to someone who would certainly be nicer in comparison such as Ann Coulter, Howard Stern, or any member of the Ku Klux Klan.”
Abel Rodriguez on TheSpoof.com


“The new celebrities on Dancing With The Stars are prime targets for alien abductions. E.T. researcher Dr. Bruce Goldberg, author of Time Travelers From Our Future, says most alien abductions occur when people are vulnerable, tired, and stressed. That’s exactly how amateur dancers like Pamela Anderson will feel once the intense TV competition starts.
Goldberg says aliens may prey on the stars, who’ll be too worn-out to put up a fight. They’ll get them on the operating table through “mental manipulation.”
E.T.s will go for ‘distracted’ targets like The Bachelor’s Jake Pavelka who’s too in love to be aware. Shannen Doherty may be safe because aliens hate conflict and humans with strong personalities, and Buzz Aldrin is too old to be a desirable research specimen. Goldberg says fans can tell if a celebrity has been abducted by the presence of ‘strange scars’ on their calves from alien implants.”
FlashNews.com


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